Confidence in Dating

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.