Mysteriousness Is An Essential Factor For Dating Success

Think about how many times you have heard the expression "mysterious stranger". Think about how many times you have heard someone say " I really want to get to know you more". People are attracted to mystery. Being enigmatic, in other words, not knowing what makes a person tick. Not knowing their thoughts. Not knowing everything about them provokes instant challenge. A mysterious stranger is an attractive person. You want to know more, you want to gain their attention you want to be known to them. Someone you can read like an open book lacks that essential quality and is therefore less attractive at first glance.

To be successful and attractive when dating it pays to keep something in reserve. A busy person is an attractive person because their life appears to be full, but you don't actually know that. You simply wish to know more. And in trying to know more, you find an interest level that you didn't find in those that offer you everything on a plate.

An enigmatic man has an air of mystery. An enigmatic woman has the same. Your desire quotient is increased significantly if you don't allow everything in your head to spill out to anyone within earshot. Mystery is a challenge and we know that challenge is inherent in many dating scenarios. By being a challenge to someone who wants to get to know you and by making them work for it, so your chances of success in the dating game are so much higher.

People often say that they meet someone when they least expected it. This is partly because by being busy with their every day routine they didn't notice that someone had taken an interest in them. This is often in part because you are busy. You are promoting an air of desirability because there is a mystery to you. Your life seems full and they are interested. They want to know more about you.

It is worth noting however that enigma and mystery are very different from being stubborn and moody. Not knowing about your life and what makes you trick is one thing. Being downright secretive is something completely different.

Here are some key tips to being enigmatic and mysterious:

• At work or with friends, don't bore the office with every opinion you can muster.
• Always keep something back when relating a story - why and how and when are details for later
• Don't announce every plan you make. Keep some things to yourself for a while
• Do not phone people, let them call you
• Don't always return calls and never instantly
• Keep your private life private. It is not open for general discussion and debate
• Don't be too available but don't explain why you are not available either
• Keep people guessing
• Making interested parties think they are no the only person interested in you ups the ante and increases your desirability
• Don't reply to emails and text messages at weekends
• If you are using a dating service, don't reply to emails and messages at weekends
• Be busy without giving details of what you are doing
• Break plans occasionally without giving too much away
• When you do meet up be entertaining and fascinating without giving every detail away
• Never discuss ex partners and refuse to be drawn on the subject
• Use an evasive enigmatic smile to answer questions to great effect
• Even when people beg you to know more, keep them guessing
• Never be too available, your diary is always semi-full as far as anyone is concerned
• Mention you were with 'some people' but say little else on the subject when relating a tale
• Let people do the running and don't do the chasing unless necessary
• Have different groups of friends who you don't mix together
• To be highly effective, create the desire initially then ration it afterwards. They will treat you like a drug, craving more due to the great times they have when they do eventually get to see you
• Learn key expressions like "oh I have been really busy", "wow its been crazy", "I have lots of plans this week", "my diary is really full" and "Oh I have been doing so many things" without giving more away
• Be a challenge and never be an open book. Make people work to get to know you

Tips for The End Of a Date

1. If you really didn't have a great time, you can always end the date early by being truthful and call an end to proceedings by saying you have an urgent meeting, phone call, appointment etc. Whilst your date will not be a fool, they will understand what you are trying to say. Better still, simply be kind but truthful and point out that you don't think you will be an ideal match and that you have had a lovely evening but that is all there is to it.

2. Never allow someone to believe there is more on offer than there really is. Do not keep your options open with someone if you don't intend to call them. It is always better to end the date as a full-stop than to keep someone hanging on for weeks afterwards. So don't falsely keep someone's hopes up, ever.

3. If you are a guy you are paying the bill or getting the check, whatever you believe. This is not the moment to start quibbling over who had what from the menu and splitting things. The age of chivalry is not dead and you had the company of the lady this evening, therefore it is your task to leave an excellent and chivalrous image by getting out your credit card.

4. If the lady insists on paying half, this is often the sign of a no-strings-attached evening out and that she prefers to leave things in a very even way. If she wants to do this, it is up to you whether you wish to accept.

5. Do not be planning deep throat kissing and sex immediately after unless it really is on the cards for both of you. And even then, remember that you should be planning to retain your enigma at least for a few dates yet so resolve not to get into bed just yet. As a guy you should be planning to see her to her cab and then give her a small kiss on the cheek.

6. If you like your date, tell them. You don't need to be explicit but you don't need to be coy either. If you enjoyed their company be forthright and confident and tell them that you would look forward to spending more time in their company very soon. If you can arrange a second date at this stage, then do so but only if you are serious. People do not like being made a fool of or being let down.

7. Do not try to avoid hurting someone's feelings by pretending you like them more than you really do. If you had a good time but won't be seeing them again then better to leave things like that.

8. Keep things relaxed, fun and casual and if you feel they are less interested than you, then keep things open-ended and optional. That way your date will have time to reconsider.

9. If you are a guy see your date safely to a cab or her car and do not make her feel any pressure whatsoever. If you are a girl then ensure you feel comfortable with this happening. If you prefer to see yourself to a cab then do so.

10. Always remember that dating is a stage by stage process and nothing rarely happens instantly. Therefore the first date was exactly that with hopefully many more to follow.

11. And finally but perhaps controversially, don't offer friendship as substitute. This is a date and has it's basis in romance. Ultimately you will find friends in many different places, but you should view dating as the possibility of establishing romance as your foremost priority.