You are at a party and out of nowhere someone is standing close to you. Like a genie, they keep turning up, close by, catching your gaze. You go and chat and they stand in the same position as you, playing with their hair, laughing with you and holding your gaze. This person likes you and is flirting. How do you know? Because without realizing it, you are an expert in flirting and body language.
What would dating be without flirting. Flirting is fabulous, flirting is fun, flirting is giving out signals that we may be interested in someone, or we may be pretending. But within reason, flirting is part and parcel of our daily lives. Flirting can be harmful when it threatens fidelity but it can also be sexy and bring people closer together. Some people are good at flirting and some people hopeless.
Are you a flirt? If you are you know it and are secretly proud of the fact. It is sexy when you flirt and people like it. Flirting means giving people attention, it means, smiling, touching, whispering. In the right circumstances it is a powerful tool especially against the unwary. In the wrong circumstances it will get you fired. There is a gulf between flirting and unwanted sexual advances so beware.
It is useful to look at some of the key indicators of flirting and they can prove extremely useful when working out if the person across the table from you is interested. The one to keep your eye on the most is "mirroring". Mirroring is when someone copies your body movements whilst retaining eye contact. Its is one of the biggest giveaways there is.
Eye Contact
- Pupils are dilated and eye contact is maintained
- Eye contact combined with an arched eye brow
- Any form of winking
- Rapid eye movement and blinking
- Eye contact where the gaze is held longer than usual. Men normally look away.
Hair and Mouth
- Playing with hair in a stroking or toying motion
- Eye contact whilst playing with hair
- Touching your hair at any time
- Lots of smiling, open mouthed and teeth flashing
- Lip licking
- Puckering lips in a simulated kiss form
- Any form of touch of the lips or teeth with tongue
Body Movement
- The thrusting of chest or breasts outwards whilst holding your gaze
- The copying of your posture - mirroring
- Holding your gaze whilst moving to music
- Using a posture with legs crossed towards you
- Leaning in towards you whilst holding your gaze
- Open legged posture facing you
- The display of flesh of arm or thigh
Touching
- They will want to touch you and will reach out to do so with some excuse
- They will offer to place food in your mouth as if feeding you
- They will play with their hands and then with yours
The Way they Speak
- Their tone and speed of conversation mirrors your own
- Lots of laughter and questioning tones
- In a group, you are singled out by this person for attention even in general conversation and questions. This happened to me in New York and I was taken aback how obvious it was.
The main thing to remember with flirting is that it is fun and so much more so when you are receptive to it and understand when it is happening to you. The best flirtatious moments will always take you by surprise.
