How to Flirt

You are at a party and out of nowhere someone is standing close to you. Like a genie, they keep turning up, close by, catching your gaze. You go and chat and they stand in the same position as you, playing with their hair, laughing with you and holding your gaze. This person likes you and is flirting. How do you know? Because without realizing it, you are an expert in flirting and body language.

What would dating be without flirting. Flirting is fabulous, flirting is fun, flirting is giving out signals that we may be interested in someone, or we may be pretending. But within reason, flirting is part and parcel of our daily lives. Flirting can be harmful when it threatens fidelity but it can also be sexy and bring people closer together. Some people are good at flirting and some people hopeless.

Are you a flirt? If you are you know it and are secretly proud of the fact. It is sexy when you flirt and people like it. Flirting means giving people attention, it means, smiling, touching, whispering. In the right circumstances it is a powerful tool especially against the unwary. In the wrong circumstances it will get you fired. There is a gulf between flirting and unwanted sexual advances so beware.

It is useful to look at some of the key indicators of flirting and they can prove extremely useful when working out if the person across the table from you is interested. The one to keep your eye on the most is "mirroring". Mirroring is when someone copies your body movements whilst retaining eye contact. Its is one of the biggest giveaways there is.

Eye Contact

• Pupils are dilated and eye contact is maintained
• Eye contact combined with an arched eye brow
• Any form of winking
• Rapid eye movement and blinking
• Eye contact where the gaze is held longer than usual. Men normally look away.

Hair and Mouth

• Playing with hair in a stroking or toying motion
• Eye contact whilst playing with hair
• Touching your hair at any time
• Lots of smiling, open mouthed and teeth flashing
• Lip licking
• Puckering lips in a simulated kiss form
• Any form of touch of the lips or teeth with tongue

Body Movement

• The thrusting of chest or breasts outwards whilst holding your gaze
• The copying of your posture - mirroring
• Holding your gaze whilst moving to music
• Using a posture with legs crossed towards you
• Leaning in towards you whilst holding your gaze
• Open legged posture facing you
• The display of flesh of arm or thigh

Touching

• They will want to touch you and will reach out to do so with some excuse
• They will offer to place food in your mouth as if feeding you
• They will play with their hands and then with yours

The Way they Speak

• Their tone and speed of conversation mirrors your own
• Lots of laughter and questioning tones
• In a group, you are singled out by this person for attention even in general conversation and questions. This happened to me in New York and I was taken aback how obvious it was.

The main thing to remember with flirting is that it is fun and so much more so when you are receptive to it and understand when it is happening to you. The best flirtatious moments will always take you by surprise.

To Kiss and be Kissed

Kissing is not such a clear-cut subject as you may think. It depends where you are sitting when reading this article. For many countries in Asia for example kissing is a private affair that almost never happens in public. I remember a Filipino guy I worked with in Singapore who was completely amazed to the point of hysteria that two men were seen kissing in public on the London tube. He simply couldn't deal with that concept at all. I have lived in Asia for a while and it was very rare the whole time I was there to meet indigenous people who kissed openly. Indeed in Thailand it was far more common to rub noses than to ever touch lips.

Kissing is a sexual act to some degree and some societies simply do not view kissing as appropriate behavior in public. Even in the UK , overt kissing in public is often frowned upon by older members of the public, even if as a youngster its perfectly natural. Then again on a summer evening in Rome, or a city park in Paris, I would expect to see couples of every age group kissing passionately as the most natural thing in the world. It all depends on where you are you see.

In western society kissing is a pretty normal mainstream pastime and rather lovely at that. The problem occurs when we start dating and are not sure when we should kiss and to what extent. The crux appears to be that we want our first kiss with someone we like to be prefect. If we begin dating and we don't kiss its unsettling, but if we are French Kissing (openmouthed) on day 1 the romance can dissolve too quickly. So it is a matter of waiting.

There is no definite here but it is pretty much accepted that on a first date, if it goes well then you should offer or accept a small kiss on the cheek and nothing more. This will occur when you go your separate ways and says that a basic level of attraction has been built up. The desire may be to kiss the lips off your date but hold back if you can. Anticipation is the mother of desire.

Of course by your second date, if you are both displaying all the signs of attraction then it won't take long before you are kissing more passionately but again it depends on the situation, culture and person you are with. Find the right place and wait as long as you cam I was dating a girl in Hong Kong and waited two weeks , seeing her 4 times a week, before we kissed properly. Believe me the kiss was worth the wait because it happened at the top of the mountain above Hong Kong called The Peak set against the lightening of an electric storm. An electric kiss it surely was and totally memorable for all the right reasons.

Guys should also remember that kissing does not automatically lead to any other physical contact for some time, so be patient and take things slowly.

• Make sure you know how to kiss

• Ensure your hygiene is spot on

• Carry some gum if you need to freshen up

• Floss regularly

• Remember to kiss gently and sensitively

• Wait until you are ready to kiss and choose your moment

• Allow the passion of kissing to build up slowly

• Remember that a first kiss should be memorable

• take the initiative if your partner is shy

• Learn the key body signals that demonstrate conclusively that your date wants to be kissed

• Remember that good kissing can be as sensual as sex

• Appreciate that some people do not liked to be kissed in public